Jokes for kids

jokes for kids

Jokes for kids

1.Geometry

One day the teacher asks Little Johnny : “Little Johnny, give me a sentence using the word, geometry” .
Little Johnny replies : “A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, ‘Gee, I’m a tree.'”

2.Internet access

How do trees access the internet?
They log in.

 

3.Can opener

What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener.

 

4.What ninjas wear

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?

Sneakers.

 

5.Strawberry

Why was the baby strawberry crying?
Because his mom and dad were in a jam.

 

6.Traffic light

What did the traffic light say when it stayed red?

You’d be red too if you had to change in front of everyone!

 

7.No walls

What kind of rooms have no walls?
Mushrooms.

 

8.Sugar on his pillow

Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep?
So he could have sweet dreams.

 

9.Little Johnny is drawing

Little Johnny is attending art class.

The art teacher asks him: ”Little Johnny what are you drawing?”.

Johnny repliew, ”a cow eating grass,”.

“But…where is the grass?” the teacher says.

“The cow ate it!” replies Little Johnny.

“Oh i see…but where is the cow?”.

Little Johnny says, “She ran away sir!”.

 

10.Shoes

What did the right shoe say to the left shoe?

”I think we must be sole mates.”

 

11.Clock out of the window

Why did little Johnny throw the clock out of the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly!

 

12.Two hats

What did one hat say to another?
”You stay here, I’ll go on a head.”

Jokes for kids

13.Ghosts are bad at lying

Why ghosts are so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!

 

14.Ambulance

Wife i don’t fell well, call me an ambulance!
Okay, you’re an ambulance!

 

15.Little Johnny’s mother is beautiful

Little Johnny watched his mother applying cold cream on her face.

She asks her : ”Why do you do that, mom?”.

”To make myself beautiful” replies his mother.

After a while she begins removing the cream with a tissue.
”What’s the matter mom?” says Little Johnny, ”are you giving up already?”.

 

16.Cookie

Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because he felt crummy.

 

17.The skeleton

Why did the skeleton go to the movies by himself?

Because he had no-body to go with him.

 

18.The picture

Why did the picture go to jail?
Because it was framed!

 

19.Stand up

The teacher tries to make use of her psychology courses, so at the first day of class, she starts by saying,

“Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!”

Little Johnny stands up. The teacher asks, “Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?”.

“Not at all, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself…”

 

20.The ocean

What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing, it just waved.

 

21.Bicycle

Why did the bicycle fall over?

Because it was two tired

 

22.Homework

Little Johnny says to his dad : ”Dad, will you do my math for me tonight?”

His dad replies : ”No son, because it wouldn’t be right”.

Little Johnny says : ”Well, there is nothing wrong with trying.”

 

23.Favorite school subject

What’s a pirate’s favorite school subject?
Arrrrrrrrt!

 

24.Bells and cows

Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.

hilarious jokes for kids

25.Two plates

What did one plate say to the other plate?

Dinner is on me!

 

26.A witch’s favorite subject

What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?

Spelling!

 

27.The little corn

What did the little corn say to the mama corn?

Where is pop corn?

 

28.Friendly ocean

How do we know that the ocean is friendly?

It waves!

 

29.Homework

Why did the student eat his homework?

Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!

 

30.Pencil and paper

What did the paper say to the pencil?

Write on! 

 

31.What does a cloud wear

What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.

 

32.Can’t walk

What has two legs but can’t walk?
A pair of pants.

 

33.You can go home

Teacher says in his classroom : ”Whoever answers my next question, can go home now”.

Little Johnny throws his bag out the window.

Teacher says : ”Why did threw your bag out of the window?”

Little Johnny replies : ”Because I’m going home now.”

 

34.Two walls

What did one wall say to the other wall?

I’ll meet you at the corner!

kids jokes

35.The monkeys

What did Tarzan say when he saw the monkeys coming?

“Here come the monkey!”

 

36.Sticky hair

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honeycombs!

 

37.Toothless bear

What do you call a toothless bear?
A gummy bear.

 

38.The king of the jungle

Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle?
Because he’s always lion.

 

39.Field trip

Little Johnny was going with his kindergarten class on a field trip to a police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals.

Little Johnny pointed to a picture and asked a police officer if it really was the photo of a wanted person.

“The police office said. “Yes it is, the detectives want very badly to capture him.”

Little Johnny replied, “Then why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture?”

 

40.A Cow’s favorite holiday

What’s a cow’s favorite holiday? 
Moo Year’s Eve.

 

41.Sheep on vacation

Where do sheep go on vacation?

To the Baaa-hamas!

 

42.Cats bake cakes

How do cats bake cakes?
From scratch.

 

43.Robin

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Robin.

Robin who?

Robin you, now hand over the cash.

 

44.Father

The teacher said to Little Johnny : ”Little Johnny how old is your father?”

Little Johnny says : ”As old as I am”.

His teacher says : ”But how is even it possible?”

Little Johnny replies : ”Because he became father after I was born!”

 

45.A man is running around his bed

Why did the man run around his bed?

Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!

 

46.Feathers

What side of a turkey has the most feathers?

The outside!

 

47.To the dentist

What did the king say when he went to the dentist?

I came to get my crown!

 

48.Radio

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Radio
Radio, who?
Radio-not, here I come!

 

49.Not getting better grades

Little Johnny wasn’t getting good marks in school.

One day he tapped his teacher on the shoulder and said, “I don’t want to scare you, but my dad says if I don’t start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!”.

 

50.Sandals

Why do elephants wear sandals?

So they won’t sink in the sand!

 

51.Stopwatch

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Stopwatch.

Stopwatch who?

Stopwatch you’re doing and pay attention!

 

Laugh with animal jokes!