Jokes for kids
One day the teacher asks Little Johnny : “Little Johnny, give me a sentence using the word, geometry” .
Little Johnny replies : “A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, ‘Gee, I’m a tree.'”
How do trees access the internet?
They log in.
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener.
4.What ninjas wear
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Why was the baby strawberry crying?
Because his mom and dad were in a jam.
What did the traffic light say when it stayed red?
You’d be red too if you had to change in front of everyone!
What kind of rooms have no walls?
8.Sugar on his pillow
Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep?
So he could have sweet dreams.
9.Little Johnny is drawing
Little Johnny is attending art class.
The art teacher asks him: ”Little Johnny what are you drawing?”.
Johnny repliew, ”a cow eating grass,”.
“But…where is the grass?” the teacher says.
“The cow ate it!” replies Little Johnny.
“Oh i see…but where is the cow?”.
Little Johnny says, “She ran away sir!”.
What did the right shoe say to the left shoe?
”I think we must be sole mates.”
11.Clock out of the window
Why did little Johnny throw the clock out of the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly!
What did one hat say to another?
”You stay here, I’ll go on a head.”
Jokes for kids
13.Ghosts are bad at lying
Why ghosts are so bad at lying?
Because you can see right through them!
Wife i don’t fell well, call me an ambulance!
Okay, you’re an ambulance!
15.Little Johnny’s mother is beautiful
Little Johnny watched his mother applying cold cream on her face.
She asks her : ”Why do you do that, mom?”.
”To make myself beautiful” replies his mother.
After a while she begins removing the cream with a tissue.
”What’s the matter mom?” says Little Johnny, ”are you giving up already?”.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because he felt crummy.
Why did the skeleton go to the movies by himself?
Because he had no-body to go with him.
Why did the picture go to jail?
Because it was framed!
The teacher tries to make use of her psychology courses, so at the first day of class, she starts by saying,
“Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!”
Little Johnny stands up. The teacher asks, “Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?”.
“Not at all, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself…”
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two tired
Little Johnny says to his dad : ”Dad, will you do my math for me tonight?”
His dad replies : ”No son, because it wouldn’t be right”.
Little Johnny says : ”Well, there is nothing wrong with trying.”
23.Favorite school subject
What’s a pirate’s favorite school subject?
24.Bells and cows
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
What did one plate say to the other plate?
Dinner is on me!
26.A witch’s favorite subject
What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
27.The little corn
What did the little corn say to the mama corn?
Where is pop corn?
How do we know that the ocean is friendly?
Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
30.Pencil and paper
What did the paper say to the pencil?
31.What does a cloud wear
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
What has two legs but can’t walk?
A pair of pants.
33.You can go home
Teacher says in his classroom : ”Whoever answers my next question, can go home now”.
Little Johnny throws his bag out the window.
Teacher says : ”Why did threw your bag out of the window?”
Little Johnny replies : ”Because I’m going home now.”
What did one wall say to the other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner!
What did Tarzan say when he saw the monkeys coming?
“Here come the monkey!”
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs!
What do you call a toothless bear?
A gummy bear.
38.The king of the jungle
Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle?
Because he’s always lion.
Little Johnny was going with his kindergarten class on a field trip to a police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals.
Little Johnny pointed to a picture and asked a police officer if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
“The police office said. “Yes it is, the detectives want very badly to capture him.”
Little Johnny replied, “Then why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture?”
40.A Cow’s favorite holiday
What’s a cow’s favorite holiday?
Moo Year’s Eve.
41.Sheep on vacation
Where do sheep go on vacation?
To the Baaa-hamas!
42.Cats bake cakes
How do cats bake cakes?
Robin you, now hand over the cash.
The teacher said to Little Johnny : ”Little Johnny how old is your father?”
Little Johnny says : ”As old as I am”.
His teacher says : ”But how is even it possible?”
Little Johnny replies : ”Because he became father after I was born!”
45.A man is running around his bed
Why did the man run around his bed?
Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!
What side of a turkey has the most feathers?
47.To the dentist
What did the king say when he went to the dentist?
I came to get my crown!
Radio-not, here I come!
49.Not getting better grades
Little Johnny wasn’t getting good marks in school.
One day he tapped his teacher on the shoulder and said, “I don’t want to scare you, but my dad says if I don’t start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!”.
Why do elephants wear sandals?
So they won’t sink in the sand!
Stopwatch you’re doing and pay attention!
Laugh with animal jokes!