Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes

Here are the best, funniest quotes to make you laugh out loud!

life funny quotes

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Albert Einstein quotes

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Albert Einstein

funny quote

Sometimes i have to remind myself, it’s not worth the jail time.

quote funny

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

funny quotes

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams. 

quotes funny

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. -Andy Rooney

funny quote

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.


Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.  -Bill Vaughan

woody allen funny quotes

In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. -Woody Allen

marriage funny quotes

Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.

-Ogden Nash

intelligent funny-quotes

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. -Bill Watterson

funny quot

Get your facts first, then you can distort  them as you please. -Mark Twain

woman funny quotes

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. -Lana Turner

funny quotes about women

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.  -Maryon Pearson

albert einstein funny quotes

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.  -Albert Einstein

funny quotes laugh

Roses are red, Violets are blue
Faces like yours, Belong in the zoo
Don’t be mad, I’ll be there too
Not in the cage, But laughing at you.