Funny quotes to make you laugh

funny quotes to make you laugh

Funny quotes to make you laugh

Funny quotes to make you laugh. Explore the lighter side of life with our collection of hilarious quotes about love, food and life in general! From witty observations to side-splitting anecdotes, our compilation is sure to tickle your funny bone.

Embrace the joy of laughter and let these quotes remind you that sometimes, the best way to navigate life’s twists and turns is with a smile and a hearty laugh!

-I’m not frowning, I’m just smiling upside down.

-I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three or four times, just to be sure.

-My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry.

-You know what I like about people? Their dogs.

-I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where hamburgers live.

-I’m old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.

-No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.

-I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.

-Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done.

-People say that laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.

-I’m so broke i can’t even pay attention.

-Smile! Tomorrow will be worse!

-Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else.

-People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

-I’m sorry i hurt your feelings when i called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.

-Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.

-I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.

-Apparently when you treat people the same way they treat you they get offended.

-My bed is a place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

funny quotes about life

-If i was meant to be controlled i would have come with a remote.

-The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

-We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall i will pick you up. After i finish laughing.

-Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

-Sorry, I’m not really good at acting like I care.

Funny quotes about life to make you laugh

-It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

-8 out 7 people struggle with math.

-I had an extremely busy day. Converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.

-He said there was no spark between us anymore. So i tasered him.

-Zombies eat brains. Don’t worry you’re safe.

-He was a true friend. He stabbed me in the front.

-Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

-I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.

-I’m on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat.

-You sound better with your mouth closed.

-If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

-True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people together.

-I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again. I never repeat myself.

-I didn’t mean to offend you but it was a huge bonus.

-Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

-I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

-Everyone has photographic memory. Some just don’t have the film.

-Sometimes i have to remind myself, it’s not worth the jail time.

-I have mixed drinks about feelings.

-I love making people who already hate me, hate me more.

funny quotes about people

-People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

-Some things are better left unsaid, which I realize right after I say them.

-Dear Life. Could you at least start using lubricant?

-It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.

-Who says nothing is impossible? I’ve been doing nothing for years.

-Good friends don’t let you do stupid things alone.

-Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

-Finally it’s Friday and I can go out! I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

-I don’t trip, i do random gravity checks.

-Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening!

-Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so close to Monday?

-Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

-I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.

-I am not lazy. I am on energy saving mode.

-If i throw a stick, will you go away?

-I always mean what i say. I may not always mean to say it out loud, but i always mean it.

funny quotes about friends

-Friendship is about finding people who are your kind of crazy.

-Me: I would like to travel more..My bank account: Maybe to the park?

-I am the friend you have to explain to your other friends before they meet me.

-I’m sorry for the mean, awful and accurate things i said.

-Everyone was thinking it. I just said it.

-I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

-You’re born free then you’re taxed to death.

-I just realized that people are prisoners of their phones. That’s why it’s called a “cell” phone.

-I may be a beginner at some things but I have a black belt in shopping.

-I wanna be young again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

-You couldn’t handle me even if i came with instructions.

-Username or Password incorrect. At least tell me which one it is..

-I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

-Friendship is laughing at a joke which no one gets.

-They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

-I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

-The road to success is always under construction.

-Mirrors don’t lie. Fortunately for you, they don’t laugh.

-Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.

-If you can’t find the key to success, pick the lock.

-We will continue having meetings until we find out why no work is getting done.

-I don’t go crazy.I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

-I’m not crazy; my reality is just different from yours.

-Age is a number and mine is unlisted.

-I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

-Look at you. You’re in a perfect shape. For a circle.

-Allow me to introduce my selves.

-Where does all my money go? It’s like hocus pocus i’m brokus.

-I’d explain it to you but I’m afraid your head might explode.

-“Revenge” sounds so mean that’s why I prefer to call it “returning the favor.”

-Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

-You look like something i drew with my left hand.

-Sarcasm is my love language.

-Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

-Dear friend, remember that without ugliness there wouldn’t be beauty, so the world needs you after all.

-If one door closes and another one opens, your house is haunted and you need to run.

-Sometimes the best way to stay out of trouble is to take a nap.

-The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.  -Albert Einstein

-Some people are like clouds. When they are gone it’s a beautiful day.

-I don’t make mistakes. I create special moments.

-If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

-I try not to laugh at my own jokes but we all know i’m hilarious.

-If I ever won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.

-I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

-When someone says: ”Expect the unexpected” slap them and say: ”You didn’t expect that,did you?”.

-If karma doesn’t hit you, I gladly will.

-You never learn anything by doing it right.

-If I promise to miss you, will you go away?

-When the past comes knocking, don’t answer. It has nothing new to tell you.

-If someone asks: ”Are you crazy?” Simpy reply: ”yes”. Just like that. End of discussion.

-Life is too short to remove usb safely.

-If your phone doesn’t ring, it’s me.

-The main function of the little toe is to make sure that all the furniture in the house are in place.

-You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

-Common sense is a flower that does not grow in everyone’s garden.

-I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

-I’m not addicted to chocolate; we’re just in a committed relationship.

-Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

-I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.

Dive into a world of laughter as you navigate the ups and downs of everyday existence through the lens of humor. Whether you’re seeking a chuckle to brighten your day or a witty remark to share with friends, our assortment of funny life quotes has something for everyone.