Awesome short jokes to get you laughing

Awesome short jokes to get you laughing

A hand picked selection of the best and funniest short jokes that will make you laugh so hard!

Awesome short jokes to get you laughing

-Upgrade your weekend: Take Monday Off.

“Little Johnny, give me a sentence using the word, geometry” says the teacher.
Little Johnny replies: “A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said: ”Gee, I’m a tree.”

-Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.

short jokes

-Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.

 

-What did one traffic light say to the other? Stop looking…I am changing!

Waitress:Do you have any questions about the menu?”
Me:What kind of font is this?”

-Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and the world suddenly stops smiling.

 

-How do trees get online? They just log on!

short funny jokes

-I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

 

7.Wife: ”It’s our wedding anniversary in a week, honey. How do you think we should celebrate?”
Husband: ”With a minute of silence.”

 

-I wanna be young again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

 

-Why do the French like to eat snails so much? Because they can’t stand fast food.

 

-I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three to four times, just to be sure.

 

-When nothing is going right, go left.

short funny joke

-Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

 

-If we shouldn’t eat at night, why do they put a light in the fridge?

 

-A day without sunshine is like, night.

 

-Where does the sheep get his hair cut? The baaaaaarber shop!

 

-I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

 

-I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

 

-If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

short and funny quotes

-Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

 

-Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That’s just how I roll.

 

-Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

 

-The teacher wrote on the blackboard: “I ain’t had no fun in months.”

Then asked the class, “How should I correct this sentence?”

Little Johnny raised his had and replied, “Get yourself a boyfriend.”

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